Not so happy in marriage

I met my current Korean husband on the plane, I was a marketing representative for a cosmetics, often flying in Southeast Asian countries. That happens to be with a particularly tired, the aircraft did not take off began snoring men sit together, beginning a courtesy endure Later that snoring is growing straight fights me uneasy, I had to use arm touched the man: "Sir, can be a little quieter this?" Oh, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm too tired, I'm sorry. "

Slender eyes, mouth little man see I am a little upset, hastened with stammering Chinese words to apologize to me. Just then I noticed he is a South Korean man, eyes bloodshot, tired look of his hair Xianchen not dye shirt collar is clean, who exudes a faint taste of cologne. Korea, been a few times I know Korean men especially particular about cleanliness, it is probably because they have a special love clean the mother's reasons.

Now that the other party has expressed apologies, I'm also a little embarrassed, I only learned a few Korean polite with him a lot. So when the plane arrived in Guangzhou, I know he is a paper businesses in Southeast Asia, Chief agents and told me the same year, is 26 years old, have not yet handed over to the men and women friends, like the plane seemed logical we exchanged phone numbers.


Next all, I did not imagine the understanding of three months, he asked me to marry, I married into Korea so unfamiliar country, but they were polite, and very capable parents do not want him very satisfied . His parents are not satisfied with his choice, because we are the same age, and my one month older than he, but they all kind of recognition of all aspects, but they should not marry me work this The point I reluctant but accepted, only my parents are not in favor of. They say, you read so many books, there are good jobs, so for marriage is a pity to give up their careers choices. Perhaps this is the different values ​​of the two countries elderly women get married in his parents seems to be a family, the husband, the children as the most important in the eyes of my parents, the girl no matter what time, the economy also depends on your own independent independent, they always believed that women give up their pursuit is a very dangerous thing for the family. He knew half a year later, I made up my mind to quit her the post really married to South Korea, has become a day around the stove to turn full-time wife. Beginning or after a period of very sweet day since giving birth to daughter, her husband started to become like other South Korean men almost every day Buzuibugui the later he married, in order to take care of him, so he went to Seoul headquarters to do the assistant to the chairman, so he would not like the original did almost every day to run around in the air, I found that this did not make him more time for the family and I, only daily breakfast when I have a chance with him to say a few words, that gentle, romantic man is gone, now almost every day for me to wash his shirt, socks clean enough, no fragrance and angry.

They have children, he has become more picky child crying that I did not do that to the mother's responsibility, not taking care of babies, and that I was "incompetent" Mom, I fought with this for his disrespectful up, his mother came out I reprimanded a lot that I would dare breadwinner men quarrel, is simply too timid. In this time his father never speak, but he will give his son pour a cup of tea, and let him down, the tendentious also very obvious that I'm always in a helpless situation, this time I remembered far marry a foreign country, I never thought that one day this. I was the only child of the family, is the apple of their parents, did not make any real chores from small to large, marry the Korean man, I almost became their house maid, laundry, cooking, have too common. The Korean love the clean, white towels every day use scrubbing floors, washing all the corners of the home. Arrived in Korea, I am particularly not used to it knees rub to feel uncomfortable, my husband told me, you're a Korean wife, another woman is so dry, you have to do it. The beginning of time, every day I finished with the mop the floor, my mother-in-law should be used to wear the white line of socks foot here Cengceng to there wipe, check or would you not net, if found black socks, she'll take off to let me to wash, I know this is I do not have the floor wipe clean sake. Married for six years, I have never parents received Korea's take a look, I've been on the phone to tell them I'm fine, very happy. I am worried that they really came to South Korea, found that their baby daughter is like this every day to a Korean man to do his wife, and they will immediately take me back to China. Can be married into Korea is my own choice, I need to bear, I do not want parents to worry for me too. The pain of life is no problem, the key is sometimes terrible mental depression. Korea is a particularly telling traditional country, where the authority of the man is no doubt that women in particular, do the daughter-in-law of the woman, inside and out are particularly bullied. Together, because I live with her in-laws every day in addition to wait on her husband, had to take care of that Erweilaoren. Especially her mother, because she has two daughters are married and living well, whenever my two great aunt had come back to see her, she must reprove children in front of their face my, then, to let her son educate me and tell me how to do in order to become a Korean family welcome daughter.

I admit that there are some I can not do like real Korean women as capable, but in my ability to do conscientious them what an opening to teach me, and I was not particularly convinced, can mouth had to cope with. Korean aunt who is also the elder, to absolute obedience, if I quarrel with them, the husband is absolutely not allowed, is wronged I have endured not tell her husband complain. Korean men in particular to maintain his own family, his wife, in their view will always be a role subordinate to them and their families.
Originally gave birth to daughter after the second year, I became pregnant again, but firmly opposed to their families, I still go to the child "to do" out, this is not just a lack of confidence on the marriage, or do I really feel the bear has to limit, housework, daughter, husband, in-laws, a child needs my care, I do not want to load.


This incident caused an uproar in their home, and I live in the district. First, parents-in-law of my cold shoulder relatively long time, they think in the end I was a Chinese woman, too selfish, too bold, but still such a thing dared to decide for themselves. They think that whether or not the child should be my husband to make a decision because I almost want to tell them, a woman in China that of my grandmother's generation is the fate. Followed by my neighbors' comings and goings of Korean women, when they buy food hit me, will be asked on a "really decide not kid yourself?" This time I never say what up red they smiled, and I think this is my life, what to do with you. Most can not accept this thing or my husband. That period of time every day, drunk back arguing with me, asked me not to doubt his ability to breadwinner, not do not want him to go on, is regret not marry him? He said to me, the wife to do the child born out refused to loss of face, the one thing in terms of the South Korean man, which makes his self-esteem greatly frustrated, allowing him to some of the company could not lift their heads. The Korean special attention to having children, because the family will be harmony and prosperity. I told him to do so because I also have difficulties, I admit that they consider the lack of real life in Korea, some unbearable this life, I need time to adapt to this environment, you need the courage to consider the following life is not so tide? My husband surprised, he always thought of myself as a qualified husband earned the money to his wife, conscientious work, love of children, love of family, never had an affair, also very filial to their parents, "can you do? you how to you feel it?" He believes that everywhere very perfect when I asked him a rather abruptly. "I'm not okay? You what I have are not satisfied with this? Oh you were my wife, I give you money, so that your children, but also how are you?" "I am a woman, is a Chinese woman, I am highly educated, had a good career, I've never thought to depend on which man over a lifetime, and I want the kind of dignity, hope, concern marriage, rather than the now opened his eyes on the work elderly to see his face, you have to instill obedience of life, you are a Korean man, you get used to the way to treat your wife, I'm not used to get along with my husband, if you want me to obey has been down, I would leave you out of here, over another life I want. "" You say you want to divorce me? "" Maybe, if we do not have any compromise. "

In fact, I did not think how to do good, the two of us is love at first sight, emotional foundation is still good, let alone as a man on the point of view, he did not have any big problems, Gu, no bad habits, work very hard, and his very humble and low-key, on a man, he is stronger than some of the Chinese men more, to do her husband I think he is a failure, at least do me this woman's husband, he is a failure. Korean man's wife, I am not a qualified he is not a suitable husband of the Chinese woman's man, if we failed marriage, the nature of the problem might be here, this has nothing to do with we had each other's love. I heard that I'm going to divorce her husband, parents-in-law and two large aunt all tense, their family poly together all night long talk, do not know what way to deal with me. It touches my husband seemed very calm, full more than a month that he almost did not talk to me, always a man what he is thinking stuffy in there.
Over a period of time, he and his parents called together, he was very apologetic for his parents said he had bought out the house, you want to with their parents separate single, because I do not adapt to the kind of life now So, I hope that the parents can understand him. That indeed, that moment I was very moved, and it seems he wants to compromise me, but did not expect his parents was his decision to fly into a rage, especially his mother, shoot the floor buzzing , "you're an only child you, we have a son so you Yeah, you want points out single through this so that relatives and neighbors not to die of shame!, we are the older people, you let our own to take care of themselves. ah. "" I can give you a servant cost me to pay out single after, we will come back over the weekend to accompany your son will not leave you no matter. "interpretation of her husband leaving her mother can not accept," I say you do not want this woman, and you chose not to listen, now into something like this, for her sake, you even Mom and Dad do not want to, you can be really a filial son Oh, I how vain you raise such a big uh. "to South Korea a few years, my Korean is not very fluent, but listen to is absolutely no problem of my mother's words like a needle bar in my heart, I could not help but shed tears. Where only son to be out single Oh, clearly to the edge of death yet, mother-in-law's attitude makes me all of a sudden despair, I pushed her husband, so he quickly position, "This is just an idea only, mother-in-law do not agree even if a. "

Husband hesitated a moment, helpless with his head down, a few words, we want the separation of a single thing on such a miscarriage of comfort emotional his mother, which made me completely lose the confidence to change their life situations.
Shortly after that, I put forward to going out to work, husband surprised to say, "Do not feed your do?"
"No," I smiled and told him, "You are a very capable husband, but I have my own life."
"That's a lot of thing in the house who did that?"
"A servant, costs we half, not to solve it?" The matter has been so far, I'm getting me the benefits of a Chinese woman, because our childhood education is to be independent, to be strong, to autonomy, therefore, our fate never submissive, drift, we will surely be adversity to say "no", will struggle with the fate of the will to liberate themselves, not the slave of life, even to pay the price at the expense .
Out of the husband's family, I feel confident, I went to a fashion magazine specialize in cosmetic advertising agency, the performance is pretty good, less than a year I promoted Under. Because few Korean woman marriage work, like my talent is particularly valuable, I own efforts to win everyone's respect. No one cares about me is not from China, they only know that I was a very very independent mind a mother, career women.

My mother-in-law there are all kinds of oppression has since wiped out, I might never have not be able to wipe the floor, but my salary is sufficient nanny to a dozen children wiping the floor, I may never like Korean woman The husband respectfully, the atmosphere did not dare with their own strength, but I also won the respect and inclusiveness on my husband, he is no longer only to me as a wife to treat our partners, friends or colleagues, occasionally, discuss the cause of the problem.
Now I have become accustomed to Korea, but still could not get used to the Korean families, to create the best candidate to become husband regarded all Korean Korean man, I suddenly remembered their own experiences of marrying Korean men looks like a beautiful thing, if you're not a confident, independent pursuit girl, married into Korea must be a risky thing to do, you need to carefully think about what you want in the end is What?

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